Rotuno's Texas Style Barbeque

     Bob's Review
In the old Value City building on the South side of Elyria, sits the closest thing to real barbecue around. A quaint place, built around the food, not the scenery.  Rotuno's BBQ has their own custom smoker to make southern-style, top-quality meats.

     I don't usually go for the pork anywhere, mainly because pigs eat their own poop from time to time, but Ezekiel sat in a stroller and I wheeled him down Oberlin Ave. to order some of Rotuno's pulled pork sandwiches for $6.99.  The pork was tender and delicious, the juices were sealed in perfectly,  and Zeke asked me to go to prom with him.
I give this pulled pork sandwich 8 out of 10 Flying Dragons.
 
     Zeke's Review
We were two sheets of aluminum foil away from having UFO hats.
I give this pulled pork sandwich 8 out of 10 Flying Dragons.

Rotuno's Pulled Pork Sandwich  6.99

     

Auntie Anne's Pretzel Dogs and some Terrible Celebrity Jokes

     Bob's Review
     There was a dozen people ahead of us.  When the mall is busy, you'll have to wait in line at Auntie Anne's.  Fellow Fast Foodie Zeke Miller and I rode our hoverboards into Great Northern Mall for some Pretzel dogs.  Wieners in pretzels. Not in buns.
     Eating wieners leads to tons of childish puns that would be too easy to rattle off, so I have only one pun:   My guess is, Daniel Tosh loves hotdogs. You don't have to unzip a zipper to eat this hotdog Mr. Tosh, it comes in a pretzel.
   WOWZERS! These things are delicious.  They are far better than I could have imagined.
I give these preverted pretzels 9 out of 10 American Flags!
Kudos Auntie Anne's. On October 18, 2011 when lions, black bears, tigers, wolves, and other exotic animals were set free in Zanesville, Oh, Auntie Anne's donated 100 Pretzels to the 18 dead bengal tigers.  :) It's the little things like that, that make the world go 'round.

Teddy Roosevelt said " Baby, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand."

     Zeke's Review
     Upon being surprised with a hotdog wrapped in a pretzel from fellow Shart Attack reviewer Bob, I decided it is time to write my first review. It's the pretzel dog that Bob watched me eat every bite of...
     When eating hot dogs, one never has high expectations in taste, however we always expect the same puns that eating a banana ensues.  I'll avoid those, aside from saying Ellen Degeneres definitely does not like hot dogs.  Daniel Tosh does.  The pretzel dog exceeds all expectations that I had.  It rivals the deliciousness of a ball park frank without the price of a tribe ticket.  It tastes very salty and the pretzel bread protects the hotdog, so there is no need to put a condiment on.
    As great as this tastes, it is still just a salty hot dog.  I give this 4 out of 10 Time Machines.  It's like HIV bad, but it wont quite kill you.










Now... Here are some funny pork and hotdog pictures!

Gangster dog

George Washington cut down a hot dog tree

contemporary art dog

Nothing fishy about how this wiener stand

Creative hotdog holder

Evolution

Pigston Churchill

Piggy that went to the market

The illusive pigfish 

pork chop

Hotdog's main ingredient

Nitrite additives in hotdogs form carcinogens.
Three different studies have come out in the past year, finding that the consumption of hot dogs can be a risk factor for childhood cancer.Petition to ban nitrites  http://www.preventcancer.com/patients/children/hotdogs.htm

Basil's Grill and Tavern

     The first recorded taco party was in 1520.  I wasn't there, but I did take a trip to tacoland today.
     Good food is worth traveling for.  So today, Zeke and I went the extra mile.  Well, according to Google Maps, we went 2 miles.  Destination: Elyria's own Basil's Grill and Tavern to check out the 3 tacos for a $1.  We ordered 15 tacos and a pitcher of Pepsi because that's the cheapest route.  In order to receive the 3 tacos for $1, you have to purchase a drink along with the tacos.

   

6 of the 15 tacos 

     15 hard shells, filled with a decent portion of seasoned ground beef, shredded cheese, fresh lettuce, a few tomatoes and optional jalapenos later, we were both satisfied.  Basil's supplied us with large squirt bottles of taco sauce and sour cream to customize our tacos.  All together, the meal was... GOOD.  It definitely surpasses the over popular taco chain that made sharting so popular in the first place.   

     With a total bill of 11 dollars and some change, I felt great after stuffing my facehole with the Mexican inspired dish.  A 2 mile bike ride home and I didn't have a sore stomach, feel over-stuffed, or have the urge to vomit.  I felt quite nice actually.  We highly recommend stopping in at Basil's on Mondays for the taco special.

The total experience gets 6 out of 10 Flying Dragons.

Here is a picture of a micro pig!