Mexican Food is the American way! Castillo Grande in Lorain

Mexican food in Lorain. NO WAY.  Located very close to Lorain's Lakview Beach, is a castle-type building called Castillo Grande, which means "Mexican Rock N' Roll" in English.  The building is awesome, the food is delicious, the lakefront patio is easy on the eyes.  We always go for the coldest type of Mexican dish, the BRRRRR-ito.

Bob's Review-o

I've traveled afar, very afar, and for many days having some of the best authentic Mexican dishes.   I've been to Chi-Chis, Taco Bell, Cap'n Taco, and Don Tequilas. I am very well-versed in authentic Mexican cuisine.  I like my Mexican food done the American way.  And Castillo Grande has some of the best I've ever had.  The salsa and chips were made right there.  The food was not your typical American style Mexican dishes.  Everything was a little better than expected.  I had the Mexicano Burrito.  What does a Nosey pepper do? Get "jalepeno" business. The burrito blew away anything Taco Bell or Chipotle ever offered.  It was a giant tortilla sleeping bag stuffed with chicken, beef, rice, beans and I don't know what else. You can taste that the 3 sauces were made there and they were fresh. Mexicans can be athletic, and when two Mexicans play basketball, they call it Juan on Juan.  I give this burrito a fantastico 9 out of 10 flying dragons.

Mexicano Burrito

Zeke's Review-o

The Mexican flag of a burrito I received from the burrito cartel's carrier pigeon today was equal parts filling as it was deliciou.  Normally, when leaving a monstor burrito in my belly, I feel full and exhausted.  However, the burrito I received from Castillo Grande today, tasted amazing and leaves me feeling ready to go shoot some zombies in a video gameo.  The burrito with melted  queso, verde, and ranchero sauces on it has 3

unique forms of savory amongst it.  The highlight of this is the verde sauce.  The fresh cooked chicken and beef are both delicious as well.  I give this burrito 9 out of 10 bordercrossing drugbusts.

"You can definitely trust us"

<3 Mexican :) <3 

Real Jumping Bean

'Merica:  We want your food, not your people.

Lorenzo's Pizzeria Average pizza at an above average price

     If you love paying too much for your food, Lorenzo's Pizzeria in Oberlin, Ohio is the place for you! I've eaten there before with my family and it was decent but we didn't have the pizza. With a name like Lorenzo's Pizzeria,  if you guessed they would have good pizza, you would be wrong. Super wrong.

     To add to our pizza eating experience, Lorenzo's messed up our order and a gentleman was very rude to a member of my family.  If you want to hook your family up with some good food, go somewhere else.

Bob's Review:
     Pizza jokes are cheesy.  To celebrate the 3rd of July, Zeke gave me a piggy-back ride to Oberlin.  Little Bob and I walked in the pizzeria to pick up our pizza pies.  There was a bell you could ring for service.     Man, I love to push buttons and ring bells.  So does my son.  Bobby rang it a couple times and a gentleman walked up and snatched the bell out of the window and rudely stated, "You are making me revoke this bell!" I felt like the teacher caught us having fun and yelled at us.  I told Bobby that the pizza nazi must be having a bad day.  We got our pizza, which they messed up, and we went to see the fireworks in Oberlin.
     Lorenzo's cheese is rubbery.  The sauce was bland and tasted like Ragu.  The crust was terrible.  It reminded me a lot of Little Caesars.  I think it's the worst pizza I've ever had and the most I ever paid for a pizza. It tasted like regret.  

I asked my Mother what she rated it and she said 6 out of 10 flying dragons.
Bobby said, " At first I didn't like it, then it got better. 6.5 out of 10 flying dragons."
I give it 5 out of 10 flying dragons.  Pizza is suppose to be good.  The only time I would call this pizza good would be if I lived in Opposite Land.

Zeke's Review:

I would give Lorenzo's pizza a 5/10 pepperoni slices.  It's halfway to a full pepperoni.  Riding our heelies there, was more enjoyable than the waiter's customer service and the flying saucer pizza can just do better.

The replacement pizza
for their mistake

There is only one place to get pizza like this, The Hell-Hole Store.

I'll also name some places where I know you can get better pizza:
1. Everywhere

Dana Fitzpatrick

My whole life was going great until I ate at Lorenzo's pizza.  Now look what is happening.